The Shadow

“When you bring your shadow into the light, it no longer has power over you” -Caroline Myss

The Shadow:
The shadow of the self, our shadow, resides in our subconscious and without awareness to bring it to light, or to consciousness, it remains hidden and thus unknown. It is in charge of the most influential parts of your life and it does so without any supervision.

The Collective Shadow:
When moral righteousness, entitlement, and superiority are strong beliefs in groups, congregations, societies, or nations, the collective shadow is present. Collective projections in groups create an us-versus-them mentality, usually based upon traits such as race, colour, sexual orientation, and politics. This is currently clearly visible in the United States as people are separated by their political beliefs, where race and sexual orientation are some of the clear segregating factors between groups.

How To Encounter The Shadow:
Bringing the shadow to consciousness can help us heal past wounds, become aware of what drives us and allows us to correct inappropriate behaviours.

1) Be aware of what feelings others provoke you to feel. Good or bad.
The disdain we feel by the actions and behaviors of others is most certainly created by the contempt we have toward those very qualities that lie deep within ourselves. 
Our feelings and emotions experienced toward others can be viewed as a map of our subconscious. The only reason we are able to recognize qualities in others is because we ourselves are capable of displaying them.

I just didn’t agree with this statement at first. I didn’t understand how it could possibly be true in all instances. 

After spending years with it, letting it sink in each time I heard it again, I came to see that although I may not behave just like that person that annoys me so, those qualities lie within and rear their ugly heads when I least expect it.

Like many of us, I’ve had experience with people who like to have me do what it is they want me to do. It doesn’t give me the feeling of freedom which I cherish and so I made a pact with myself ages ago that I would never choose to behave this way with others. 

One day in a fairly desperate and emotionally driven attempt at keeping my friend away from her emotionally abusive boyfriend, I behaved in the very way I had decided I would never do. Just like that, my pact with myself was broken. Yes, I had a legitimate reason to behave in the way that I did, but did that make my actions any better or more effective? It certainly did not.

Later I reflected on our interaction and decided that my friend most likely did not appreciate being told what she should and shouldn’t do. I also realised that she was an adult and would likely just do what she wanted anyway. I was mortified and I apologized to her immediately. 

Those qualities we hate in others are within. They are buried deep and often come out when we are the least bit conscious and more so reactive or defensive in an unexpected situation. That brings me to my next point. 

2) Reflect upon your words and actions to unexpected and emotionally charged events.
If you find yourself in an argument or an altercation and suddenly there you are pulling out the knives, reflect. Any emotionally charged moment is a perfect opportunity to assess your behaviour and thus your deep-seated beliefs, your shadow. Emotional moments pull from the subconscious data bank and before we know it we’ve said or done something we regret. Time to examine. And to forgive yourself.

We can learn an incredible amount from those we love, and even more from those whom we do not. 

As we find ourselves in a time of uncertainty, it may be giving rise to our survival instincts and thus I have outlined the archetypes that best acknowledge this.

The Survival Archetypes:
“The Child, Victim, Prostitute, and Saboteur are all deeply involved in your most pressing challenges related to survival.” -Caroline Myss

An archetype is a character that represents the patterns of human nature. Understanding these particular archetypes, bringing their shadow into the light, can turn them into your trusted allies. Each of them representing struggles with fear and vulnerabilities, that can become spiritual and physical strengths.

Your response to the challenges presented to you and your manner of interacting with people is all up to you. If your choices are made unconsciously and you act defensively and from a place of fear, you may not be learning and growing from the opportunities presented to you. The more we chose to be conscious and aware of the archetypes influencing our behaviour, the more positive our lessons will be.

The Child:
The Child is a representation of our playfulness, it is that part of us that yearns to be lighthearted and innocent. Our balance between fun and responsibility. The energy of a balanced child is positively compelling. They bring out the best in others and are a joy to be with.

The Wounded Child:
The Wounded Child is a version of the Child that many resonate with as it holds the memories of abuse and neglect, traumas and wounds collected during childhood. 

On the positive, the deep sense of pain can create sympathy and a drive to aid and teach other wounded children.

The shadow side of the Wounded Child is the tendency to blame failed relationships and life achievements on our parents as they are seen as the creators of this archetype.

The Victim:
The Victim can become a strong ally, keeping you abreast of situations where you are about to be victimized through passivity or inappropriate actions. It can also show you when you are about to victimize others. Learning the nature of the Victim within can bring incredible insight.

In its shadow, we enjoy the benefits of receiving sympathy, pity, and attention from others. We are never at fault and we are always being taken advantage of.

Our goal is always to identify these inappropriate attitudes and correct our behaviours. 

To get in touch with your inner victim, ask yourself these questions:

• Do I blame others for the circumstances in my life?
• More often than not do I feel more powerless or powerful?
• Do I spend much of my time in self-pity?
• When receiving criticism or feedback do I get defensive and place blame on someone else?
• Do I feel victimized if the situation doesn’t work out the way I had intended?

The Prostitute:
Unlike its name suggests, the Prostitute isn’t necessarily about sexual interactions but rather the selling yourself, your soul, your morals and values, or your spirit, for something in return. Almost like selling your soul to the devil!

Personally, I worked for a company where I didn’t agree with their pay structure and policies. I knew how much the guys at the top made while those in the warehouse needed another full-time job along with a partner to share bills with just to survive. I didn’t believe in the owner or his word and felt he had a lack of ethics. I also didn’t particularly enjoy working out of that office, it was miserable but I did so for longer than I thought possible for the almighty paycheque. It was a reliable income that allowed me to get my schooling done and my ducks in a row before I went after something more meaningful that aligned with my values. 

From her, we can learn to not compromise our body, mind, and spirit. No longer for sale!

To identify the prostitute, you may ask yourself:

• Am I in a relationship that may be harmful to my health and spirit for financial stability?
• Have I ever purchased another person’s loyalty or support to fulfill my own agenda?
• Have I remained in a situation that compromised my spirit in return for recognition, success, or wealth?
• Do I find myself judging others who are compromising themselves?

The Saboteur:
The purpose of the Saboteur is to recognize the ways in which we undermine ourselves. Its issues are all rooted in self-esteem and are demonstrated in the choices we make that block our own successes.

Once you face it, it will alert you in situations where you are about to be sabotaged.

Getting to know the Saboteur you may ask:

• What are my three greatest fears?
• Do I make different decisions with fear present?
• Does fear promote me to agree to things I otherwise would not?
• Have I let creative opportunities pass me by?
• How conscious am I in a moment of self-sabotage?
• Would I be able to help others recognize their self-sabotage?

Understanding my shadow, I can begin to understand the collective shadow and the functions of society. Healing myself begins the healing process of my society.

-Renee RHN

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